Smack!

This article on corporal punishment caught my attention today. A man belted his 5 year old daughter several times with a ... well ... belt because she wouldn't tell him where she got a suspicious $2.10 from.

He was fined $1000 and had his daughter taken away from him.

What interests me is the range of opinions on this one.

Some side with the judge, saying that what the father did was barbaric or at least absolutely unacceptable. Some do say that an open-handed smack might have been ok but using a belt was unacceptable. And some reason that if you can't smack an adult then you can't smack a kid.

And people have been hopping mad that Muslim clerics have been recommending that husbands smack wives.

Others have said this is a stupid argument as this is adult-adult, where as an adult smacking a kid is different.

But wherein lies the difference and does it make it more right - or is it just more acceptable because certain societies, like upper class English Boarding schools have been whacking kids for ages, and we want to justify it?

Some people would say the difference is because adults have the responsibility of bringing up the child and therefore should be able to whack the kid and teach them "respect", whereas a husband and wife are equals. On the other hand, an adult and child are also unequals in that an adult is generally stronger and that a child is more vulnerable and more likely to be susceptible to emotional and physical damage and the adult is not only given the responsibility of instilling respect but other moral values and behaviour patterns, and also to protect the child, and this could be an argument to not use violence of any sort against a child.

Of course, the most obvious debate was well perhaps the man did wrong and overreacted or maybe it wasn't that bad ... but on the other hand was the punishment meted out the right one, or more importantly, was it right for the daughter? The guy didn't, from the sounds of the story, seem like he was just bashing the daughter generally, and was separating her from her father the best course of action? It could be more psychologically damaging.

Perhaps it might be better if he were fined more or had to attend some counselling/training classes for effective parenting and put on probation ..... maybe a combination.

But it didn't seem to be the biggest debate.

Some of the most amusing arguments and attitudes to me are these:

THIS GENERATION IS A RUDER/MORE DYSFUNCTIONAL GENERATION THAN MINE THEREFORE THE WAY I WAS BROUGHT UP WAS BEST AND YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT

This attitude is generally but not always purported by people who purport to be 'older' talking of 'younger people today'. Someone usually talking about how they got the strap or lots of homework or had to walk ten miles just to go to the toilet but now you've got all these young nancy-pantsies kids who've got en suites and patterned toilet paper and mobile phones and parents who put them in the naughty corner as their final resort and then they all grow up to be dope pushers and terrorist bombers or worse still, vote Greens. that would never have happened in MY DAY, they grumble. Heck, we didn't HAVE GREENS. Show some RESPECT.

The funny thing about this is I wonder how they have all this stuff worked out, that they are all so great. Did their oldies ever tell them they were dysfunctional or were they always shining stars? And did they ever figure that their grumpiness and all just makes them rude and generally antisocial people who ain't that great? I'm guessing that the crime stats and unemployment records were just as dysfunctional in their generation as in ours. They're just dyspunctional because they can't own up to it. And they didn't notice it so much because they didn't have the Net. They invented port-a-loos instead.

I GOT THE STRAP AND I'M SO WELL ADJUSTED LAW-ABIDING AND A WONDERFUL PERSON WITH NO EMOTIONAL SCARS, NEVER DONE A THING WRONG IN MY LIFE AND I'D BASH MY KIDS TOO TO MAKE THEM LIKE ME SO NATURALLY HITTING YOUR KIDS IS THE RIGHT WAY TO GO

I always wonder at the natural arrogance of some people who write such things, maybe they don't realise how it comes across. I wonder who told them how wonderful they were, anyhow, and whether, while they are writing "There are so many idiots running around who have been spoilt by lazy discipline ... but my mum and dad belted me and I have grown up as a well-adjusted citizen with a good job and respectful ..." that it ever occurs to them whether some people or many people who meet them might think of them as a person whose personality, attitude, manners and behaviour could be greatly improved upon 'had they been brought up differently'.

It's also amusing that these people will go on about how they are so law-abiding and have great respect for the law and authorities while they go on about how they would bash their kids - in flagrant disrespect, it seems, for the authority on law in THIS case - the Judge!

A conundrum.

I suppose one could say they respect its existence or argument but then go out and disobey it or advocate disobeying it anyhow - but then what makes them any different from the other lawbreakers out there - what, because they believe they've given some reasoned thought to it and other people are commoners who don't even think the existence of law is something to respect? That's sorta ... weird.

I think it's more a case of people who say this sort of thing who believe there are certain laws and regulations that matter and those are the ones that they don't break; if you did point out some laws or regulations they did break or believed in breaking they might get all huffy and say those laws weren't important or you were being petty - whether for them it was the fact that you had accidentally gone 1 or 2 km above the speed limit (I've done that, I haven't quite got the knack of that accelerator yet) or jaywalked, or arranged their front yard against council regulations or travelled further on a train than you ought to even if it was just because you fell asleep and you quickly corrected it by getting off at the next station and going back. But strictly speaking it's WRONG.

Anyone who hasn't done anything wrong like that, and has even made it to adulthood ... they're probably lying or living in a cage. Which is probably much worse than a belt.