Monday, 12 April 2010

The Brand New Hobo-Doll!

As many people know I'm most unfortunately out of employment and trying to find something new to do with my life. The applications are going out, and I'm baying at the moon, howling for a job.

It's a harsh world when employers don't appreciate you and I hate interviews. I hate 'em. Really I do.

And I've come to the conclusion that perhaps I should just become an entrepreneur. You know. Just invent some things and sell them.

The real problem is I don't know what to invent yet.

But once I've overcome that minor hiccup in my plan, I'm sure Orange Juice Snobbery Products Pty & Ltd will be a roaring success. You just wait and see.

One idea just popped into my mind and I've got a rough sketch going for it.

Welcome to the first OJS Products product ... The New .. in fact the first Hobo-Doll!

We all know how homeless people can earn a fortune. In fact it's shocking that some of them can earn more than what I've earned employed, and they probably can collect a pension as well and it's all tax-free.

Some clear $400 a day, and they're just sitting on their bot-bots in Martin Place with a sign around their necks.

Now, that's all dandy except not all of us want to sit in Martin Place, and what if you could have someone else sitting in Martin Place for you while you went out and got another job or just partied?

Welcome the Hobo-Doll!

The Hobo-Doll is a lovely plump doll that looks EXACTLY like a hobo and dresses like one and will do all your sitting for you and collect the cash. It will even wear a sign around its neck. No matter that it doesn't breathe or eat - no one checks homeless people too carefully for signs of breathing and when was the last time you saw a homeless person eating? Most of the time they don't look up when you throw a coin in.

The Hobo-Doll won't either.

I'm selling the basic doll for $15,000 a pop and if you find a lovely place in the right area, you'll easily earn back that money in a couple of months and more besides. For the better models, there are changes of clothes and a variety of signs, and a special automator that will say "Bless you Jesus Child" "Lord bless you" or "How 'bout a few dollars more for a pint?" whenever you throw in some money, for a touch of realism.

Prices will also differ depending on size, especially plumpness and the most sympathetic slouches cost a bit more. But they're definitely worth the investment.

Note that OJS Products cannot be responsible if you pick to place your doll in a place with low revenue, or if your doll is bashed up and ruined by vicious bikie gangs or jealous buskers. You must be entirely responsible for the safety and intelligent placing of Hobo-Doll!

Hobo-Doll will be your friend and colleague and amazing revenue-raiser - order him or her today!

1 comment:

no-one said...

Hah! Brilliant.