While there's Australia's Brainiest Kid, and the Einstein Factor For Kids, and It's Academic! (for schoolchildren teams), and Australian Idol for younger people who don't want to be kids and put on so much makeup that they look older than me, I think we're missing out on many of the fine possibilities in reality, game show and TV sport production that could be aimed at children.
What about "I want that Mummy!"
How many little kids have found themselves bitterly disappointed with their families and the parents they've been born to, and been absolutely sure there's been a mix up at the hospital? This is the Perfect Match for Kids. Children behind a door and ask several possible parent couples questions. Can Dexter the Robot pair up who is the more likely Mummy and Daddy for this child? Maybe there WAS a mix up at the hospital! At least they may be going home with a more suitable parent couple ... or at least out on one date with them to test them out ...
Or the Bratz model - "I want THAT, Mummy"
Select the 12 top tantrum tossers in the country, and bring them to a showdown in the local department store or supermarket. Trot them down the aisles and see who can wear down a professional actor, posing as a Mummy, the fastest. Who will give in first - Master Mummy, to the screaming fits for marshmallows and Lego and a baby Ipod? Or the Master Tantrum Tosser to threats of no Wiggles concerts for the next three hundred years ... stay tuned!
Baby Sumo Wrestling
If obesity is such a problem in this country, why not celebrate and take advantage of it rather than hide it and be ashamed of it? Ya know what I'm talking about.
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I just read a rather disturbing article where an environmentally aware group is promoting "No Nappies". That is, you have to recognise when your kid is about to do the drop, and help the tot out - by hurrying your babe to the nearest receptacle, or catching the poo in the nearest available item. Like a doggy bag.
What a wonderful idea for Baby Sport on TV.
"Catch The Poo!"
Mummies are put in a field with lots of babies, ready to go. They are armed with scoopers, doggy bags, and there are receptacles at certain points. The Mummy has to watch out for the babies' faces and determine which babies are in most need of help, and in which order of priority, and zoom about, helping the kids in need. Dash them to the receptacles, hold out a poop bag, wipe a botty.
The Mum who wins is the one who, in an allotted timespan, can come out with the LEAST number of babes who have pooped and piddled on the actual floor or who have wet themselves. Successful Mummies wil have dry babes who have managed to reach the toilets in time or have had a plastic bag shoved under them in their time of need.
That's one swarthy kid. In fact, if I didn't know better, I'd swear he or she had a mo...
I swear the "Catch The Poo!" game was inspired from an article I read today about some Non-Nappiers. SOme said Indian women held babies outside train windows if they looked poop-positive, but that'd be an offence here, so we'd have to carry poop bags, doggy do bags and the like.
It'd mean a whole new spin to the "can I have a doggy bag?" phrase and the "brown-bagging" term, I'm sure.
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