Infuriating bits of technology

A laptop has been frustrating Mr Coffee lately.

Laptops are very good at that. They are very infuriating creatures, because just as you are getting cross, and dancing about the room screaming, "I'm going to kill you if you don't do exactly what I want you to do - now accept this password/load up again!" they remain very composed. They don't react. They don't even blush. They don't say a thing. They just keep waiting for you to get crosser. Unfortunately I fall for that trick a lot and start crying and say things like,

"WHY? WHY? WHY DO THIS TO ME? Say something won't you?" It increases my blood pressure no end and I often end up rattling the computer which doesn't do too well for its functioning.

This is not uncommon. In fact it is VERY COMMON.

There are, perhaps you are unaware, every day people who are dancing about their computers screaming at them, and the computers don't scream back and the people get cross at them for not screaming. On the other hand if they did scream back they'd probably die of a heart attack. So it's kind of like a Catch-22.

Jack Yardley, 27, was dancing about, screaming at his computer, when he could take it no longer.

"If you don't do what I want you to do I will throw you off the flipping Gap!" he screamed.

The computer considered Yardley mildly.

"Insolent beast!" Screeched Yardley. he pressed some more keys. He fiddled with more cables. He turned the computer on and off. Nothing more.

"I can't take this an more!"

Yardley grabbed the laptop, and ran off to the Gap, and with a bloodcurdling scream, he threw himself AND the laptop off it.

It was a first, and the story made headlines.

MAN JUMPS OFF GAP WITH LAPTOP HUDDLED IN ARMS.
MAN DEAD. LAPTOP STILL SHOWS SIGNS OF FUNCTIONING.
"INPUT PLEASE. PLEASE TYPE PASSWORD. LOGON OR CANCEL?"