Sunday, 11 January 2009

The Darker Side of Mary Poppins; or Tim Burton Presents Mary Poppins

I like to interpret dreams. I dream pretty vividly. Lately I've been dreaming quite a bit about Mary Poppins, and I've come to the conclusion that my dream means one thing: I've got a fantastic idea for a Tim Burton version of Mary Poppins, which would of course star Johnny Depp. What major Burton movie wouldn't?

I've been dreaming of some major new Poppins adventures, but they've been more ghoulish, more dark and more fantastic than ever. The colours would look great on Blu-Ray. I'm telling you. They are straight out of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - bright colour contrasts with dark backgrounds. I'll leak some on to the Net, but if Burton would like to contact me for some more material, please post a comment wth a forwarding address. We can do business.

Firstly, lots of people will be familiar with the Poppins scene in the original movie where Poppins talks to erself in the mirror (and the mirror answers her back). My dreams not only had twin Poppins but multiplying Poppins - in fact I had a whole army of Poppins in a desert ready for lift off with their umbrellas, but dancing to a great song, in beautifully choreographed time.

I also had a wonderful idea for an EVIL TWIN Poppins who would have to be controlled by the real Poppins. Who would Bert rather have his way with, this time?

Poppins has several magical tricks up her sleeve this time, including some new fantasy places to visit by blowing soap bubbles and visiting the lands within them, and swinging from trees and eating enchanted fruit, and finding the curiosity in a hiccup.

In my version, I envisualise a cast including:

Freddie Highmore as Michael Banks
Helena Bonham Carter as Mrs Banks, the long suffering suffragette
and Johnny Depp as Mary Poppins (and all her multiple personalities)

It's about time Johnny followed every other Hollywood star and got himself into drag and did some dancing around and singing at the same time, and I'm sure Tim Burton will provide him with that excellent opportunity.

If Burton ever does a dark Mary Poppins, especially if Depp ever plays Poppins in drag, remember you saw the idea here first. I'll be particularly disappointed if I'm not credited and given my cut.


TimT said...

Tim Burton does Mary Poppins would be so awesome.

In the original Mary Poppins book by P L Travers, I think she worked in a lot of references to The Golden Dawn, the neo-pagan sect of which she was a member (along with other writers like W B Yeats)... mostly the tone is lighthearted, but there's one chapter, about the birth of a new child, where Mary Poppins has a conversation in a room with a little bird and the baby that is full of esoteric references to forgotten secrets, higher powers, etc, etc.

And didn't Travers hate the Disney movie?

Maria said...

I don't know if Travers hated the Disney movie.

I liked the Disney movie, myself, diff'rent from the books but fun. Still think Julie Andrews did a good job as Mary Poppins!

Still, a dark interpretation would be ... yeah ... awesome.

A neo-pagan sect? Fantastic.

Maybe Mary Poppins could come back when they all really need her.

In the movie it is when Mr Banks is somewhat neglectful.

Perhaps ...

she could come back when Jane has gone goth and has big boy troubles
Michael has got in with the 'wrong crowd' and is starting a life of petty theft and substance abuse
Mr and Mrs Banks are going through a bitter divorce, Mr Banks has probably also been using his knowledge to skim money so he's a bit nervous and Mrs Banks' bra-burning idealism have led her to be an ardent nudist, a source of conflict in the family
and Admiral Boom has been told to take up counselling because he may have Multiple Personality Disorder.

Bert's probably been hounded to get a proper job by the authorities, too, and may be having a crisis.

And probably the cook's got an obesity problem.

And Poppins comes along to give them a spoonful of sugar and solve all their problems with a jump through a chalk painting!

Anonymous said...

You are really really crazy. Nothing of your ideas would ever work. Read the books, Pamela Travers hated the disney movie because it's so different to the books. Mary is very vain and is always admiring herself in the mirror and other reflections. She constantly scolds the children for their "bad" behaviour, especially when they point out the magical things she does, for she constantly denies she is anything but a prim and proper lady.
Mary Poppins in the Disney film, as portrayed by Julie Andrews, is also stern but at the same time more gentle, cheerful, and nurturing of the two Banks children of whom she is in charge.
Johnny Depp could be never Mary Poppins. I like the books, and I love the disney movie.
I also love Tim Burton and his movies. But I think, it's better that he make "Alice in Wonderland".
Tim Burton + Alice in Wonderland: This is just perfect!!!!!!!!!!!

Maria said...

Anonymous, I have read the books. (I didn't read the book where P.L. Travers said she hated the Disney Movie. However I'm not surprised that she did, it seems lots of writers hate the movie.)

Oh ye of little faith. Ye of little imagination.

It all came to me in a vision. A dream, no less.

Therefore I must convey it to you and I am convinced it is propelling me to do higher things.

In fact, I am sure my ideas for Mary Poppins could not only lead to an Academy Award but to World Peace!

I am writng my acceptance speech now.

Maybe Mary Poppins the Scientologist.

Now you can't argue that Scientology and vanity are mutually exclusive can you?

P.S. If it was possibly to complete twist the Pollyanna movie with the storyline that was added into the movie, I say that "The Darker Side of Mary Poppins" is a babystep.

Anonymous said...

Fun Fact: Johnny has already done a film in drag. ;)