I have had a hang up about the incorrect use of the words "less" and "fewer" - most people use "less" instead of "fewer" rather than the other way round, which urged me to write this ode to Coles last year.
But the "12 Items or Less Service Lane" actually does grammatically make sense.
It's just that you never seem to get to get to choose.
Even if you take 12 items, you still get crappy service, it's just as crappy, not any better, than when you take 11 or 9 items through. So you aren't really choosing between 12 items, or less service. They should take the freaking sign down.
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I was in The Fast Lane
behind a guy with a LOT of stuff, so I reverted to Old Hippie Mode and placed my hand gently on his arm and said sweetly
"would you like me to come home with you and teach you to count?"
Why? he said.
"Because you have many more than the eight items this queue is for"
and he said
"No I haven't - I have 12 cartons of milk and 12 loaves of bread - thats TWO 'items'."
He is Out There driving a car,
so please be very careful.
He is probably one of those fun guys who goes to the store and when the tomato soup is on special he buys 500 tins of it and thinks it is 1 item.
If you are his friend he will entertain you with tomato soup for the rest of the next three years. His house will be made of tomato soup.
Then later he will find that it is leek soup that is on special and he will go for 500 tins of that.
There is some feeling sorry for the geezer, and maybe such people should have the "Privileged Homogenous Food Lane", a token of pity.
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