Saturday, 16 December 2006

Dead Ends

I'm a little edgy right now, because I'm about to get my hair cut.

"Just trim off those dead ends." I feel like a living part of me's being removed - well, hair grows, doesn't it?

Haircuts are no common occurrence for me. Some think my hair is long for aesthetic reasons, it's actually because I'm lazy and cheap.

Sitting in a hair-stylist-dresser-studio whatever place they call the shearer's shop nowadays, annoys me no end, first it's bothering to traipse in, then it's shelling out $45 for something I haven't noticed has changed much, and then there's the inane chatter. Which is why I decided to wise up and choose a Chinese immigrant with a poor grasp of English as my regular hair-trimmer, so I wouldn't have to listen to his prattlings, or at least I wouldn't have to understand them.

That did mean a few language barriers, like pointing out I did want a wash and trim, but no "blow job".

When I told my sob story to two old ladies, they snapped indignantly "Why don't you get a $5 haircut like we do?" The prospect of finding a barber so cheap excited me, until I found out they got their haircut at the RSL, and promptly blew $150 on the poker machines when they finished doing their hair.

Then there were the attempts at home, which had only the positive side effect of making my passport photo look beautiful. I was dead certain I could at least get my fringe done properly myself - I just wanted to snip off enough so I could see, I told myself. When I'd hacked off the forest in front of my eyelids, I was sorry I could see.

Anyway, I'm off to blow $45 on a blow, trim and wash, not necessarily in that order. And I'm praying.


alexis said...

Maria: it appals me to the very bottom of my follicles that YOU have to pay THEM to take YOUR hair away from you. In all my many years of hair growth, I have paid for a professional hair cut only once. They made my head look like a baby bird, and then sold me a $25 bottle of gloop to turn it back into something resembling a human head again. Since then, I've cut my own hair. Or enlisted a handy friend for the tricky bits round the back. Assuming a thrice yearly haircut, that's roughly $135 saved that I can spend on improving literature. Or the pokies. I'd be honoured to help you out with your fringe. Just say the word.

At this point, any blogger truly dedicated to her readers would post photos of what the barber left behind. Pleeeeeeeeaaaaase.


Maria said...

I listen to your pleas, Alexis, and I'm truly moved, however much as I'm dedicated to my readers (of which I think there are an almighty 3 at the moment - I'm honoured) - I've found myself not so dedicated to humiliation that I'd post pics. However, all suggestions for the blog gratefully accepted.

$135 on improving literature per annum? I'm salivating already.

Apache said...

Getting it all shaved off & investing in a few choice wigs is an option: the Halle Berry style wig, the longer Cameron Diaz style wig and the odd pink wig for those crazy parties. You save money on haircuts and shampoos and don't have to worry about bed-hair. Best of all though, during tense high-powered business meetings, you can freak out the opposition by removing your wig and placing it on the table in front of you.

Maria said...

Freaking out the high powered corporate types is always a bonus and a lure, apache.

The on-top brazilian style's getting very appealing - just wondering how the maintenance works - is it a once off, forever off deal, or do you end up spending ages razoring the "bum-fluff" off your dome each morning?