Tuesday, 13 November 2007

The Plastic Cup Offensive

There's a debate brewing about beer in Sydney. Plastic or Glass Cups? After a series of glassings some wretched victims and enraged members of the public have been calling for pubs to use little plastic cups instead of glasses to serve beer.

Even if a plastic cup doesn't look nearly as flash as a glass schooner.

Well, high time, I say. Get rid of those glasses and bring in those plastic cups! And to the caterwauls of those beer drinkers who say it "doesn't feel nearly as nice as a beer in a glass" and it's "not quite the same" when you get served a piddling little plastic cup as opposed to a big glass schooner with the beer frothing over it, juuuuuust right - I say -

GROW UP - and think about what we Orange Juice Snobs have been through for years!

Non alcohol drinkers have suffered at the hands of publicans for too long, and it's high time the tables were turned, I say. Every time you go out with your alcohol imbibing friends, the beer imbibers get a large schooner with froth edging out of it, artfully done like it were in an ad, and your wine drinkers get shown a label, allowed to sniff, to taste, to spit even, and allowed to jump up and screech and send it back to the kitchen if they wish!

If not, it's poured into an elegant tulip bulb shaped glassy thing.

They're presented with a "Wine list". A red? There's an abundance of reds, m'dear ...

A non-alcohol drinker?

"Soft drink? We got Coke ..." they mumble. They plonk a can in front of you - often no glass, no ice, and if you're lucky, perhaps a straw.

Perhaps a juice. "What juices do you have, please?" you inquire, as restaurants never seem to provide a separate "Juice List" in a lovely little folder.

"What kinds?" ponders the waiter, as if the thought never occurred to him. "I guess there might be ... apple?"

You give up on their poor selection, and order the apple, and find out that their version of apple was actually tomato juice. That was all they had, sorry. And your alcohol imbibing friends snigger as they sip their perfected to order cabernet sauvignons, and turn their noses up at your "red".

Enough with this Juice Humiliation, as we are ground into the tiles of a restaurant floor by the alcohol imbibing elite! Let the Revolution Begin! Plastic cups in pubs shall just be the beginning ... but it shall be a good beginning!


JahTeh said...

Didn't some hotels bring in a no-sandal rule last year because of broken glass cutting the dainty toes of ladies who then might sue?
Some of the drinkers I've seen wouldn't know if they were drinking out of old underpants or glass.

Maria said...

Some of the Japanese I've heard about would prefer to be drinking out of old underpants (specially those ladies') rather than a glass ...

JahTeh said...

I've heard about those gentlemen in Japan. You know, with the size of my knickers they could develop major addiction problems and I could make millions.