Sunday, 12 April 2009


Some time ago someone told me I had a weird sense of humour because I watched the movie 'Crash' just before my Learner's Driver Licence Test. 'Crash' is a movie about people who purposely crash cars and get themselves injured for erotic thrills. Whoohoo!

Well, I've just crashed a car, on Good Friday, and I can say it's no erotic thrill. Not for me. I didn't jump the person next to me and want to make passionate love to her. A possible off-putting factor was that she was my sister. But I don't think I would have been that way inclined if she'd been a gorgeous heterosexual male in no way related to myself either.

Going full tilt towards a brick wall is not that much fun. For some reason What I can remember thinking is:

"Hey there's a brick wall"

"Someone's yelling stop"

"How do you stop again?"

"You press something don't you?"

"What do you press?"



"Umm there's a brick wall!"

Kinda all jumbled up in my head at once. I kinda remembered where the brake was after the brick wall stopped me.

I would like to note that neither my sister nor myself nor any other people were damaged in the process. The brick wall wasn't that damaged but a plant in front of the brick wall noted some definite leaf squashings.

I've been told never to drive again by certain people, and to 'think long and hard about it before I give it a go' by others.

In the meantime ....

I have been nervous, hysterical and shaken and upset and everything else in turns. I experienced a terrible dream on Friday night where I got out of bed and left my bedroom and entered a world where everyone was doing driving tests and exams, theoretical ones. I was told to be quiet for the test. I tried to leave this world but every door I went through, I went into a room where people were doing driving tests. I couldn't escape it. It was downright scary.



Alexis, Baron von Harlot said...

Ach, so sorry to hear this. I rolled a car, a while ago now. As in rolled it right over so that its wheels were in the air and my arm was full of glass. I was shaken and depressed for weeks afterwards - not just at the fact that I'd singlehandedly destroyed $15000 worth of machinery (well, me and the road and the tree and the embankment, our powers combined), but at the close and vivid encounter with my mortality and fallibility. To this day (it's 11 years since), I don't get behind a steering wheel without considering the possibility that I could kill someone. On that comforting note (!), you take care. Hope you're feeling okay, soon, and tell everyone to be gentle with you. Love, a.

TimT said...

Bugger and bollocks and blast and botherations. Sounds jolly unfun, this crashing business.

On the plus side, you've got a neat story to tell others at a later date - I'd start working on the formation of this personal anecdote now for maximum effectiveness.

Maria said...

Thanks to both of you.

TimT, I've just attempted several drafts by retelling the story to some friends via email, we'll see about the reception. Jolly good idea though. I'll see if "Driving the car into a brick wall" can be madr into theat Booker-Prize winning novel later to be turned into a feature film ... I'm sure many other more modest ideas have become great novels.

I've tried "It was a dark and stormy narrow street ...."

And "Once upon a time there was a three point turn ..."

And I'm not quite sure which sounds the better.

On the other hand, it could just make an excellent piece for a "New Idea" article in the $100, story of what happened on your weekend section. And couldn't I do with $100!

I should have thought of that and taken a photo. I think you have a better chance if it's accompanied by a piccie.

Friendless said...

These things will happen. Just be grateful nobody was hurt and remember not to do it again.

Maria said...

Thanks Friendless.

I have been repeating "Walls are Friends Not Foes" over and over so I don't feel the urge to slam into one next time I see one.