Monday, 6 April 2009

Review: House of Wax

I saw House of Wax just the other night.

It wasn't terrible - as far as very C-grade slasher-horrors go, and me not liking those very much. Which is to say it rates pretty lowly on my list but I can confidently say that probably just being in that genre already sticks it in that category.

Some people say that they have a problem with the fact that Paris Hilton was bad at acting in this film. In her defence - well, there wasn't much good acting from anyone else in this film. So she didn't really stand out. She wasn't even the most annoying character (I thought).

One thing I want to know about such films - you are the "goodie" character. There is a big bad villain after you and has already showed it wants to kill you and will stop at nothing. Then there is a scene where the goodies get to kill the villain by doing something like punching him out or putting a bullet through his tummy or an arrow or sword through his stomach or chest. Big bad guy goes down from single blow.

Goodies hug each other, put aside their weapons, spend a whole lot of time chatting or crying with relief and walking slowly away or whatever. In this time you usually see or find that big bad guy isn't really dead just badly wounded, gets up, and manages to become big bad threat all over again.

The end game occurs when the goodies after a big chase end up bashing the lights out of the baddie and making sure he is dead or throwing him in a vat of chemicals or whatever.

What I want to know is:

WHY instead of spending that time hugging each other in relief don't the goodies give the baddie a couple of good extra thwacks to ensure he's really out? They usually have something handy - a chair, the end of a rifle, whatever.

It'd save a heck of a lot of trouble, usually a few houses and lives and a few limbs.

I can understand that sometimes the goodie is too weak or is in a hurry and can't do it but so often you have this dumb storyline where they are too busy standing around checking that their dress is ok and a big bad guy is getting up ready to stab them from behind. REALLY??!!


I have to note I loved this phrase summarising the plot of "House of Wax", found on

"An ethically-diverse group of college-aged kids ..."

I'm not sure that it was a typo, you know. "ethically diverse, deprived, challenged"? I don't know what the politically correct term is nowadays.


TimT said...

Speaking of horror movies, YouTube have been running this homage to the Exorcist for about a week now, in which some fun-lovin' American college girl imitates the on-your-hands walk that Linda Blair does in The Exorcist. I just love the way the dog in the house goes absolutely crazy and barks at the girl. He's probably saying something "Walk properly, stupid human!"

Maria said...

I mainly watch horror because Mr Coffee does. he doesn't get scared by it.

Whereas i am a walking scaredy-cat zone. I am scared by horror and I don't like violence. if someone gets hit or has their nose cut off in a film I start groaning and holding my tummy or my nose and thinking the same's going to happen to me.

Heck, if someone just plucks a hair from their head in a film I start writhing. "My hair" I start screaming. "I'm about to lose it!"