Thursday, 11 January 2007

The Itchy And Scratchy Show

Out of all the Seven Stages Of Sunburn I neglected to mention the most difficult stage of all - the itch.

I'm going through it now. While the skin peels off, it itches. If it's not one shoulder it's another. Why don't these attention-seekers find something else to do?

This is something like "Pain" only far far worse. Pain is when someone hits you, gauges out your eye, hacks off your head. Itch is when your body teases you malevolently with comparable sensations and makes you want to do it yourself. But when you give in to temptations - the satisfaction lasts for only about three seconds before you start itching all over again.


The other thing about itch on peeling skin is the rule that "if it's itchy, it means delicate skin underneath". For some reason, Nature has given us a body where we have a natural urge to scrape hard nails across the most tender parts of our bodies and expose bleeding flesh, which will heal again in a day or two, leave a scar or scab, and become itchy as hell too. Yes, and there are still people who push the intelligent design theory wagon; personally I think this is proof enough no creator of humans could have been intelligent and certainly not merciful.

In fact the reason I'm typing now is in a vain attempt to give my fingers something to do, otherwise they'd be at my poor, already mutilated skin.



Eileen Dover said...

Ahh, I'm one of those freaks who likes to peel the skin off.

I always have and always will.

I can't stand the thought of flaking skin on my back rubbing against a shirt.

Maria said...

Once I was peeling off uhge sheets of skin off my body. I think you and I would get off well, eileen dover.

Damn the etiquette Nazis who call such practise anti-social. I'm all for comfort.