Thursday 20 August 2009

Weight Loss Schemes that Really Work

Whenever people moan about weight loss and how really hard it is and how people should sympathise with certain large people because their body shape is just not the type suited to weight loss, so it's cruel to go on about how they're overweight, I think WHAT ROT!

The trouble with people who moan about this and try these silly diets like the fish one day and chocolate the next diet is they want weight loss to be easy. They like fish and chocolate. Then they feel like they have achieved something cool by telling everyone that they have fish one day and chocolate the next instead of having both every day and this makes them real martyrs.

Of course if you really want to lose weight it is very easy and you don't need experts in nutrition or whatever to explain how:

You can chop off a limb.
You can cut yourself and leak a lot of blood.
You can go without food at all for a very long time. Like years on end. There are all these experts who will go on about how this will actually work against you because it will slow down your metabolism and switch you to food storage mode and you'll stack up more weight. ONLY IF YOU GO BACK TO EATING AGAIN. DO NOT BE FOOLED.

However for all people go on about desperate dedication to losing body weight, it seems many are not ready to really take the plunge. They would rather be alive and have all four limbs than be light.

It seems these moaners are lacking commitment to the cause. Let them whine!

3 comments:

TimT said...

Are you anticipating Alan Jones' retirement and auditioning for his role?

Whatever, I like it!

Maria said...

Alan Jones?

Better start practising my corny jokes ...

Maria said...

I've been walking around trying to find how many intonations I can put on wrods like "SLACKERS" and "pathetic bums" whatever.

It's not a bad lifestyle, I can see why he goes for it.